Erykah Badu Interviews Kendrick Lamar

  • BADU: How do you choose chicks from backstage?
  • LAMAR: How do I choose chicks from backstage?
  • BADU: Yeah, what is the protocol?
  • LAMAR: I try not to. [laughs] I’m too scared. Anybody who knows me knows that I’m probably the most scared person when it comes to that because I’m so caught up in the act of sex, of something going crazy, going out of my control. I’m too paranoid.
  • BADU: [laughs] So you just pass?
  • LAMAR: I’ve got to because I’ve seen a situation where it got totally out of hand, where something seemed so innocent, and now this person has got allegations on them. It spooked me. This was before my career really started, though—before any “Kendrick Lamar.” And that right there? It changed my whole perception about certain things. I’ll always keep that in the back of my head.
  • BADU: So who is your asshole-checker?
  • LAMAR: Who is my what?
  • BADU: Your asshole-checker—the person in your crew or your family who let’s you know if you’re being a asshole.
  • LAMAR: I have two, actually. [both laugh] But the main one is a friend of mine—a lady friend who has known me since high school. She has always been someone, since day one, who has said something whenever I’m an asshole, or also if I’m doin’ something positive—but more so when I’m out of my element.
  • BADU: What’s your favorite cereal?
  • LAMAR: Fruity Pebbles. When people ask for my rider, they think I’m crazy: Fruity Pebbles, baked chicken, bottle of Hennessy, and some Polo socks.
  • BADU: What do you, as a man, envy about what it means to be a woman?
  • LAMAR: There’s just a certain knowledge instilled in a woman. There are these things that women have that men just can’t grasp: the understanding of love; the understanding of being; having a certain type of care in your heart and knowing when to be compassionate; knowing how to be a confidante…
  • BADU: That’s a good perspective. Something I envy that men have is that ability to grow a goatee. I think that’d be really hot on me.

randommomentsdevida:

Me: What’s your final impression for the patient?

Chief of ER: Pain *pause*

Me: *types into chart*

Chief of ER: In *pause*

Me: *types*

Chief of ER: The ass

Me: *typ-pause* What?!

(via cranquis)

Eff a knife, we use machetes!

  • Way back in 2012, fresh after the Reggie Luster stabbing event, we (Vashalice, Marceé and I) were enjoying hookah while discussing the details. One detail that stood out was the fact that Luster had a 8" deep stab wound.
  • Vashalice: 8"?! That n----a got stabbed with a machete!

There's never a time when a Disney reference can not be made.

  • Terrick, talking about this kid from Armwood who's involved in track and field (paraphrasing): This kid was like, 6'2", 250 lbs... I asked him how old he was and he was like *in deep bass* "14". I asked him where he went to school and he said Armwood...
  • Vashalice: Well that's why then.
  • [Someone said something here, but I can't remember who, something about how did he get so big?]
  • Me: Maybe his parents fed him 5 dozen eggs every morning...

Rick Ross (A little side chatter during a Biochem study session)

  • [Rick Ross was the topic of discussion at that moment and Crystal made a sarcastic remark about Ross' weight and something about a heart attack... I forget how it started but here's the rest]
  • Me: Don't joke about him, he just had a seizure!
  • Crystal *unaware*: He did?
  • Me: Yes!
  • Crystal: Well, he need to eat some damn vegetables!
  • [Moments later]
  • Crystal: Well is he okay?

(Source: overitdotcom)

Nobody in my family is a Bieleber. Or whatever the heck you call them.

  • (Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" plays on one of the local radio stations)
  • My sister, Deana: Who's this?
  • Me: It's Justin Bieber. Whom I can't stand.
  • Deana: Sounds to me like he's trying to copy off of Justin Timberlake. You know, with that "Girlfriend" song from N'Sync?
  • Me: It does, doesn't it!?
  • Deana: Yeah it does. He's trying to be like Justin, but he can go ahead and hang that up. Not even close.
  • Me: BOOP!

Cee-Lo = A Teletubby? (A chat from the last week of school)

  • Adolphia: Me and Stephanie were digging Cee-Lo...
  • Me: wait... like, *digging* Cee-Lo?
  • Adolphia: Yeah, like I would get on him and...
  • Crystal: Uh uh!
  • Adolphia: Yes girl!
  • Crystal: Naw! It'd feel like I was on top fuckin' a teletubby!
  • Adolphia: It's the things he says...

A conversation about Pride and Prejudice.

  • Me: GAH I just love this movie! Pride & Prejudice is probably my favorite book ever, and this movie is definitely one of my all-time favorites. I just love it so much! It's just perfect!
  • Melissa: The one with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy is better.
  • Me: COLIN FIRTH PLAYS MR. DARCY?! I must see it!
  • [Moments later, we arrive at the scene when Elizabeth uses Darcy's words to get back at him]
  • Melissa: I'm definitely Elizabeth.
  • Me: I agree. She's my favorite, but I think I'm most like Jane.
  • Melissa: I think you're most like Mr. Bingley *laughs*.
  • Me: ... yeah, you're probably right.

Edna Mode said it best.

  • Tonight I hung out with my homies Vashalice and Marceé at a local hookah bar. While enjoying the hookah and each others company, 1000 Ways to Die was playing on the telly. One situation was of a man impersonating a super hero (much like the guy from the movie Kick Ass) and he had the costume complete with cape and everything. He saw some delinquents on top of a building smoking what I assume to be illegal drugs, and he, being a vigilante, decided to interfere. He pushed one of the kids with some sort of object (I couldn't tell what it was) and the kids began to approach him. He, realizing he was outnumbered, backed up. HOWEVER, he tripped over his own cape and fell off the side of the building, landing in such a way that his ribs ripped his heart open (no joke).
  • Vashalice: Ya see! That's why on the Incredibles they say no capes!

Italians do it all...

  • Blanche: Is that all you Italians know what to do? Scream and hit?
  • Sophia: NO! We also know how to make love and sing opera.

Rory and the cybermen

  • Rory: I have a message and a question. A message from the Doctor, and a question from me: *Where* *is* *my* *wife*?
  • [the Cybermen stare at him, saying nothing]
  • Rory: Oh, don't give me those blank looks. The Twelfth Cyber Legion monitors this entire quadrant. You hear everything. So you tell me what I need to know. You tell me now, and I'll be on my way.
  • Cyber Leader: What is the Doctor's message?
  • [outside, the fleet begins exploding, startling the Cybermen]
  • Rory: Would you like me to repeat the question?
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